anger.

i haven't been this angry for a LONG time. just shows how much hatred i've managed to suppress in order to function.

wow.

i need to regain my composure and focus on my studies.


definitely downsizing....

2nd semester of grad schooL..

so i'm a bit frazzled. taking 3 grad courses was a bit much. but i had to do this so i can have a summer to focus on the one class i'm dreading. CSPD. clinical skills & physical diagnosis. lecture online and labs. while i was searching for information regarding preceptors for the upcoming fall, the list came up of courses that i might need clinicals for this class too. i have to speak to my advisor and clarify this whole clinical rotations thing. i need to find a preceptor who's willing to guide me... i hope. HAHA. i'm nervous.

i also need to renew my BLS by this summer. and hopefully finally take my ACLS. i'm so behind. sigh. this is why 3 grad courses was necessary this semester. LOL. summer 2010 will be nuts. fall 2010 will be even crazier.

as long as i pass with a B, i think i'll take it. this is something that i have to accept. i'll try my best, but as of now, i have other priorities. mental health in primary care is actually coinciding with my beliefs. i was tearing when i heard my professor talk about trust and relationships. not just with clients, but as a good person. we constantly work on it. communication. honesty. love. what keeps a person? what motivates them? what happens when they lose that some "thing" that keeps them going?

i snickered. the days before this very lecture were intense. hahaha. i found my motivation. it was a lot of staring into a wall and self-reflection, but it was a "eureka, i found it!" moment. i realized a lot of things about myself. i was surprised.

to find a balance between life and grad schooL. yup.

there is an ultimate goaL. achieved through perseverance.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 NIV

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Eccl 4:9-12 NIV

baby steps...

Everything will be ok ...
... If it's alright with you, then it's alright with me ...
Baby let's take this time, let's make new memories.....

yeS. aGReeD.