Life is for the living.

for my family. i cherish every moment i have with you guys.

i havent been able to truly focus since last Saturday. We'll see you again Mrs. G...

re-posted from my FB.

when my mind is pre-occupied, i tend to look back at photos/videos and mesh them.

it's one of those things that you dread while on vacation.. receiving THAT phone call.

it's a good thing I read "Tuesdays with Morrie" when I did a long time ago..

1. "After you have wept and grieved for your physical losses, cherish the functions and the life you have left."

2. “This is part of what family is about, not just love, but letting others know there’s someone who is watching out for them. Knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame. Not work.”

3. “As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away.”“Death ends a life, not a relationship.”

4. "So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

5. "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

GeekTool

geektool is an amazing program for macs.. just macs. if you're one of the few ppl that actually like customizing your mac, get to know this program. i've seen very clean desktops using geektool, some really cluttered it.. it's almost like widgets but "embedded" on the your wallpaper. basically it's a GUI program for command tools that allow you to display, calendar, dates, time, CPU up time, wifi, weather, etc watever apple script/command combination ppl have come up with

i'm not a programmer so it took me a while .. >5hrs to find scripts and come up with the aesthetics to get it to look clean.. let's just say, this took over my day, and i totally didn't do worrk.. =(

i'm quite satisfied with how my desktop turned out.. took forever to find scripts, i should remember to bookmark.. hahaha..

in short.. here's an example..



what do you guys think?

any questions let me know..

now time to do my paper and study for my exams.. f;alsdkmf[qowemf

Happy New Year!

so it is 1.1.11

Congratulations to my cousin JV and his wife Karina!! Welcome to the family my dear nephew, Kayden Jave!! awesome birthdate ^_^

i wasn't able to complete the 1st round of turbofire due to my hectic schedule.. i almost screwed up my semester trying to catch up to my case logs.. o__O .. so i'll try again this time. i entered the schedule on my calendar alongside the syllabi of my classes.. so now an hour is set aside everyday. hopefully i stick to it. xD

new faster pace for clinical rotations: the fast track of the ER. oh goodness. 12hr shifts.. patient history/physical/diagnosis/treatment every 10-20minutes.. multitasking and juggling. walking really fast. my brain is mush. lol.. but it's a really good learning experience. i see a broad variety of patients!! it is a challenge i am willing to accept. i will get better. which means, focusing on my studies is a priority. so far i haven't done it.. i am already behind in class.. ugh.. lol. trying to catch up now.. on this snowy evening. thank goodness classes have been canceled for tomorrow. need to be productive...

only thing i accomplished was this..
Alcohol Abuse - NP


lol.. i have hundreds of pages to catch up on.. since my ADD is kicking in.. i'll work on my TYPHON patient logs to track my NP clinicals.. woOHoo.. so fast track ER .. in a span of 12hrs.. i've seen 36 patients.. so i have to log all of those.. LMAO.. wat a faiL. ugh and i'm still trying to finish up from last week's 12 pts in the slower fast track.. =( .. one thing i learned on Monday.. don't forget to eat and take a break.. gosh.. brain gets tired fast.. and all that brisk walking from room to room physically tiring. this is why i am conditioning myself via turbofire.. slow and steady improvements.. stepping it up a notch. there are higher expectations now. i'm hoping i dont get kicked out of the program.. LOL.. anyways.. back to studying..

feel free to leave comments or email me anything.. suggestions welcome. thanks ^__^

TYPHON!!!

Turbo Fire

so insanity's 60 days have come and gone. i'm very proud of myself. =)

keeping up with insanity took a toll on my knees. even with the proper form; i was still quite heavy for my own body. it is such a high impact workout, joints have to be taken care of. with the suggestion of my friends, i am taking glucosamine/chondroitin supplements daily. i already take multivitamins and other supplements to boost my metabolism. i've also been much smarter with my food choices. i have this love for flax seed oil.. it adds a slight nutty flavor to my post workout chocolate egg white protein + wheat grass + green superfood concoction. ^__^

well, as for the actual results of the last 63 days: i lost 6lbs because i've gained muscle in places that used to be saggy. sTRONGER!!! i'm more toned/defined. i went down about 2 sizes. which i love, but also hate because the clothes i got over the summer, are now falling off. this ultimately means SHOPPING!!! YAY.. i've also become more cautious about the foods i eat. living a much healthier lifestyle compared to the years of damage i've done to my own body.. i couldn't believe i've been doing that to myself. i have much more energy. OH enDORPHINs.. HAHAHA.

sooo now, since i'm not satisfied with the amount of weight i loss, i will continue working out. since insanity is too much for my joints. mind you, i was crying on day 50 because it was that painful.. i thought i seriously damaged my knees. now i have crepitus. they creak! that has never happened before. sooo.. i looked up other programs.. obviously i'm not a gym person. i went through that as a child, and i only ended up quite self conscious. soo no to the gym. i checked out the beachbody site and that's where i found Turbo Fire !!! oOOoO.. i read the reviews comparing it with insanity and p90x. this is more cardio, choreographed and a much better soundtrack!!! this will definitely keep me going..

after finishing insanity 5 days ago, i took a break. and i just started Day 1.. turbo = speed. i had a hard time keeping up with the moves. i felt like my body wasnt responding as fast. AhH.. after those 30minutes.. my core was feeling that burn.. SOO GOOD.. then a 10min stretch followed. considering i worked the night before, i passed out right after. woke up.. arms, quads, abs, obliques WOW.. i'm excited to start this 120 day journey.. maybe i should start blogging this.. this way i can keep track of the work out and the foods i ate.. i should def start calorie counting.

Day 1: EZ Fire 30 and Stretch 10

Bfast / Post Workout: 16oz of fat free lactaid + scoop of egg white protein + wheat grass + amazing superfood + a squeeze of flax seed oil

Passed out..

Lunch: STARVING = grilled burger w/ am. white cheddar + lettuce + tomato + white bread bun + extra patty w/o trimmings. 4 pieces of watermelon. half of a sweet corn...

most likely i'll go back to sleep since i have work later tonight.. HAHA..

Dinner will most likely consist of a bowl of cheerios + fat free lactaid + squeeze of flax seed oil

work.. run around like crazy.. usually no meal/break.. hahaha..

come home tomorrow morning.. and off to day 2 of turbo fire..

Pre insanity: after graduating from college 2yrs ago, and have been stagnant with weight fluctuating up/down









sooo.. here's my insanity post pix..

hunnie, just do you.

(in a jersey accent of some sort) "hunnie, just do you!"

i think that was probably one of the best pieces of advices i've ever got from an ateh. it's one of those things only an ateh (older sister) can give. i am thankful. grateful, without a doubt. when i can sleep soundly at night, not focusing of what ifs, could've, should'ves.. that's a major improvement.. HAHAHA.. i finally got my 8hrs of sleep!!! oMG.


There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love - 1 John 4:18

insanity might have had something to do with it. lol. who knows. i'm already crazy for starting it and committing to it. so what else do i have to lose?? More pounds! HAHAHA jk jk .. ^__^ Day 17 and going. woOSh. I feel better, clothes fit better. I'm probably gaining muscle since my weight did go up from the initial -8lbs that i lost. well, weight doesn't matter, since my clothes fit better and i have a better endurance now. i didn't die the last time i played tennis. form was good, and I was actually able to hit especially since i havent picked up a racquet in over a year. for a person that couldn't hold the quadriceps stretch without toppling over, i can now safely hold my right foot back!! ^__^

picking my battles. letting things go. i'm more relaxed. calm. i'm not freaking out as much as i used to. i can't help but smile more often. a huge weight has been lifted!!


Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

thank you, ateh. thank you. <3

^_________________________________________________________^

Letting Go.

the funny thing about mental health / psych nursing class is that we're suppose to recognize these things in our patients, however, the first step is to be aware of one's self. when i found myself reacting to the topics, i realized i had a lot of growing up to do. countertransference. watch out for that one. i was definitely caught off guard.

as a person who grew up with always having a plan: syllabi, itineraries, outlines, backups.. there are a lot of things I cannot control, but I'd like to be prepared. Even with trying to expect the possible outcomes, there's always that curve ball life throws at you. as i struggled to read through the pages of my psych book, i looked within myself and my past interactions. what did i do? why? how? did i miss out on a lot of opportunities? what did i say? did it match with what my face and body were trying to say? some ppl can read me. it definitely affects our relationship with everyone..

i just have to learn to let things go. some things i can never change. dwelling in it will destroy the balance. there's also the art of timing. there's a time and place for everything. come back to it some other time in hopes for a resolution. do things ever end? no not really. it keeps going. the decisions we make now, will affect what happens next. the ripple effect, right? i could be wrong, just a speculation.

i am learning to let go. react when i have to. pick my battles. my mental professor told me that i worry too much.. i shouldn't stress out so much. i took his advice and here i am. my neurologist thanks him. my neurologist told me i should go out, and not limit myself so much. HAHAHA. -=sigh=-

Consider your own life—how many times a day does some situation pop up that leads to moments of frustration and anxiety? Surrendering your head to your heart in those moments will lead you to balance and fulfillment. As you listen to your spirit, peace follows. So follow your spirit. Build your foundation in your heart. Love must be your innermost and spontaneous response towards every person you encounter. Say to yourself inside, "I just love." Use these words as a key to start the engine running in your heart and watch life brighten with new love and understanding. Surrender to your new awareness and let love unfold the purpose of creation to you. - Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart

loving people is what i do. and that involves a give and take. compromises. listening and surrendering. it's how we grow as humans. eventually we will reach the top of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: self-actualization. everything will be alright. it does not mean i'm gonna stop caring, it just means i'll learn to back off and let you be. you have your own path, your own life. our paths will cross, and we'll see from there. right now, i'll just enjoy the moment and savor it. who knows what will happen next.. i sure don't; do you?

True love doesn't have a happy ending because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you. - Anonymous

Heads Up.. Finding Preceptors

soo heads up to all NP students, just so you know, since I wasn't aware of this until recently, we have to arrange our preceptors by ourselves. The school doesn't set it up for you like when we were in nursing school/undergrad. We must go search for a NP or physician willing to train us.. hahaha.. they are out there. It's just a matter of finding one that's free, since there are other students asking for them...

start asking your advisors how your program works, and what are the acceptable types of preceptors for your specific program.

for example. I'm allowed to arrange my clinicals in my place of work as long as it's not the floor I currently work in. It's almost like a mini-interview for internships and selling yourself. Start searching early.. i'm allowed to ask NPs and physicians.. I will work my way up to physicians as soon as I am comfortable enough with conducting a thorough H&P and presenting a diagnosis..

start networking, getting ur name out there.. i start my practicum in the fall of 2010, but i started now... and then searching will start all over again in the summer for spring 2011, etc..

check out VA clinics, urgent care centers, etc.. if they don't have a position, ask them if they have another institution that they would recommend.. don't give up..

aight that's it for now.. back to working on my case study, email me for questions.. good luck to everyone ^__^

things to do over the summer before clinical rotations:

BLS recert
ACLS initial
Master Clinical Skills & Physical Diagnoses --> be comfortable with H&P
review medications, labs, etc
STUDY !!!

spend time with my loved ones.. ^___^